21st Century Cartoons Suck

December 11, 2013

Well, my life is over. Caillou that little fucker has a Holiday Movie. And the Pirate has started handing us the remote and saying “Caillou!” This isn’t good. If you don’t know, Caillou is the most annoying piece of shit excuse for a cartoon that you’ve ever seen. I used to equally hate Caillou and […]

Read More

Buh-Bye Elmo!

November 21, 2013

Never underestimate the power of Facebook to assist you in parenting. Sort of like how TV was in the 70’s, except this is interactive. One of my friends wisely suggested we try to call the “I Stole Your Money, Ha HAAAAAAA Elmo” makers. I found their number and gave them a call. BadMommy: We just […]

Read More

Screw You Elmo

November 20, 2013

I managed to already score what the Rehoboth Beach Delaware Wal Mart employees assured me was the “IT” Elmo for this holiday season – “Hug Me Elmo.” (If you’ve never taken advice from a Wal Mart employee then you really should get out of your bubble. Wal Mart advice? All the rage.) There is something […]

Read More

Seek and Destroy

November 12, 2013

Several weeks ago, I hatched what may or may not have been one of my most brilliant ideas. Depends who you ask. My friend who used to live across the hall in our condo building had a baby girl a few weeks before the Pirate was born. We had visions they would grow up sisters-in-spirit […]

Read More

Pass Me A Tissue Please – Part 4

November 06, 2013

Last installment of the family vacation stories. When we were teenagers, Squidward presented me with the pen and notepad, ubiquitous to all motel rooms and like a game show host said, “I want you to write the following phrase.” He then said the word “pus,” as in ooze. He went on to say that if […]

Read More

Pass Me a Tissue Please, Part 3

November 04, 2013

Another installment from the Bad Mommy 1970’s vacation files. As Squidward got older, he began to put his foot down at some of the atrocities to which we were subjected. He made his first of many stands with the restaurants where we would eat. He announced one day that he refused to step foot into […]

Read More