Home Schooling

“I’ll take “Overkill” for $400 please Alex.”

Answer: 89

“Um…what is, the number of emails I received about ‘distance learning’ from Monday to Friday.”


Peoples, I’m going to be the first one to admit, this didn’t go the way I expected at all.

First, the good stuff. I sort of love having the kids home.

Second, I am also THRILLED THRILLED THRILLED beyond words that the entire world came to a halt so I could catch up. I’ve been sinking below the surface for many months…too much to do, not enough time to do it. My family has called me out on it that I don’t spend time with them. The corgi rescue has called me out on it that I don’t spend time with them. I’ve felt stretched thin for a while.

I love real estate. Like, LOVE LOVE LOVE it. But it’s all-consuming. Friends who have jobs with “regular” hours don’t understand that this business is a constant hustle. Clients don’t just appear in your face to buy houses. There are many many forces that align to provide a stream of business and it is all self-generated. I could go on for hours. Lucky for you, I won’t.

Now a Master at the Ipad, the New “Messenger for Kids” is Hours of Entertainment for Chubs

Now a Master at the Ipad, the New “Messenger for Kids” is Hours of Entertainment for Chubs

I also enjoyed week 1 of home schooling because we scored our nanny for 4 days to assist. And by assist, I mean, “took care of all the home schooling while Real Estate Dad and I worked.” She rocked it, as did the girls. Without the interruptions of friends and behavior problems who should have been expelled after he punched a girl in the face (yes, he punched a she,) lunch, snack, recess, taking a bus to go to another school for their arts education (which they hate and I agree with them on that) we can get a lot of crap done. They crank out most of their work by lunch.

That is the end of the good stuff.

Here’s what I didn’t count on. The emails. I am hoping that this was just because people are getting used to this, but there are so many emails about things to be done, some is required, most is not. A lot of it is ideas to keep kids busy when they aren’t doing their school work. At the beginning of the week I was thinking: I only want the required work. I don’t need the rest. I was born in the 70’s, and I’m not afraid to stick the kids in front of the TV.

By Friday, there were so many emails I was like screw this. I deleted everything in my inbox. I’ve got 6 email accounts for 4 different purposes. Nothing makes me more itchy than going to bed at 3 a.m. with the emails cleaned out and waking up 5 hours later to 70+ emails.

No. Just, no.

I feel great hitting the delete button now. Because I, like every other parent in this world, did NOT need more freaking shit to do. I told the girls, we’re going to do what we need to get you to the next grade and that’s it. Because I’m still working.

Oh, didn’t I mention I’m still working? Well, I am. Clients want houses. Bills have to be paid. I was already a hand-washing maniac, and raising the girls to be the same, so this isn’t new for me. I already lived in a world knowing that most doorknobs have fecal matter on them and remote controls in hotels are the grossest thing in the world. Don’t get me started on that Dateline episode where they couldn’t figure out who the murderer was with SIXTY DIFFERENT DNA PROFILES ON THE HOTEL BEDSPREAD.

Another thing I wasn’t prepared for was how batshit crazy some people have become. I didn’t want to see this level of crazy with people I know, but it’s too late. The world is changed forever.

Hey! Remember that time there was a pandemic? And all the stores and restaurants closed down and tons of places went out of business? And everyone was so scared of each other that they forgot how to be polite humans? They only went out to poach all the toilet paper and groceries like the world was ending?

That’s not going to become a distant memory anytime soon. Not for me, anyway. There are people who have risen to this challenge and people who have handled it so disgracefully who I have no interest in any longer. Even when we’re on the other side of this.

When people show you who they are? Believe them.