Someone Jizzed on Santa

Someone Jizzed on Santa

May 31, 2019

Someone Jizzed on Santa Now that we no longer have Summer Nanny, we have to parent our own children. It’s not so bad because we “text-in-sick” way less than Summer Nanny. I tried to text-in-sick once, but Real Estate Dad didn’t buy it when I said that the mockingbirds in Glover Park formed a gang […]

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Incest is a Dish Best Served on Holidays

May 20, 2019

Best Dish Served on Holidays I have this awesome client who was referred to me from another awesome client. The first time we looked at homes, his parents came along. This can sometimes be a sticky situation for agents in a high priced markets like DC because the prices here compared to the rest of […]

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I Didn’t Even Apply But I Was Recruited Anyway

I Didn’t Even Apply But I Was Recruited Anyway

May 08, 2019

I Was Recruited Anyway If you want to volunteer at any DC Public School, as of Fall, 2018, you have to jump through the added hoops of getting a TB test and being fingerprinted at the DCPS Central Office. Suffice it to say, most people are too busy for this nonsense, so there is a […]

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The Tooth Fairy

April 19, 2019

The Tooth Fairy We have a unique relationship with the tooth fairy in our house. The first time she came to our house, she took the tooth and left $5. The second time she came to our house, as expected, she took the tooth and again left $5. But unfortunately for M, who really behaved […]

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Spring Break Week

Spring Break Week

April 16, 2019

Spring Break Week The girls are off school this week, so unfortunately we have to parent more than the usual minimum wage work ethic. We’re at the beach, getting the condo, that I convinced Real Estate Dad we should buy, ready for the summer rentals. The entire process of buying the condo was quite a […]

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Some Will Win, Some Will Lose

Some Will Win, Some Will Lose

April 03, 2019

Some Will Win Some Will Lose Don’t Stop Believin’ is forever ruined for me thanks to that dumbass Meadow Soprano. No one, and I mean no one, is that bad at parallel parking unless they are from Maryland. Oh don’t cry, Maryland. I googled “state with worst parallel parkers.” After 4 YouTube videos, the 5th […]

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Kids, Corgis and Work… How Does She Do It?

March 28, 2019

Kids, Corgis and Work… How Does She Do It? You know how you guys ask how do I do it with kids, corgis and work? I did a little video for the rescue, and how I’m combining rescue, family and work. Piper will be the fan favorite I’m sure. Yes, her tongue was hanging out. […]

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Let’s Play – “There’s Nothing Sexier Than…”

March 18, 2019

Let’s Play! There’s Nothing Sexier Than… Quick! Fill in the blank! There is nothing sexier than waking up to _________ Okay okay, now me! There is nothing sexier than waking up to the sound of your dog vomiting. If you have a dog you know that sound. It’s similar to the human dry-heave, except it’s […]

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Welcome to the Jungle

Welcome to the Jungle

March 04, 2019

Welcome to the Jungle When people say “You should get out more” I’m pretty sure they aren’t talking to me. Because every time I go out, something stupid happens. Both days this weekend I woke up “early” and was surprised to leave behind a house of sleeping kids, dogs and husband, only to learn that […]

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