Let’s Play – “There’s Nothing Sexier Than…”

March 18, 2019

Quick! Fill in the blank! There is nothing sexier than waking up to _________ Okay okay, now me! There is nothing sexier than waking up to the sound of your dog vomiting. If you have a dog you know that sound. It’s similar to the human dry-heave, except it’s a wet heave. You can actually […]

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Welcome to the Jungle

March 04, 2019

When people say “You should get out more” I’m pretty sure they aren’t talking to me. Because every time I go out, something stupid happens. Both days this weekend I woke up “early” and was surprised to leave behind a house of sleeping kids, dogs and husband, only to learn that the rest of the […]

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DCPS Lottery ~ All Cleared Up For You!

February 06, 2019

Whenever there’s a question about DC Public Schools and their “clear as mud” lottery system, several people in my brokerage like to point to me. I mean, they point to me for a lot of stuff like “Who stole my space heater?” (sorry Lisa) “Who has the white out?” (I have a paper planner and […]

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And I Didn’t Puke This Time!

January 30, 2019

Guess who went on another field trip as a chaperone? Yes, this glutton for punishment. As someone who gets car sick backing out of the driveway, you would think I would stop raising my hand for this stuff. Here’s the good news: I can finally say I’ve been to and toured Dumbarton House! Here’s the […]

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A Tale of Three Emails

January 26, 2019

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days, it was the Realtor® of wisdom, it was the Realtor® of foolishness, it was the new mom of belief, it was the new mom of incredulity, It was the Amish in light, it was the Amish in darkness, it was a corgi rescue […]

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You Are Feeling Verrrrry Sleepy

January 05, 2019

If you know me personally, you know that I’ve been struggling to drop the 25 lbs that magically appeared after Chubs was born. I look in the mirror and don’t recognize myself. I see pictures of myself from when I “thought” I was fat, and I’m like, “Girllll give me that body back any day.” […]

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When Santa Squeezes His Fat White Ass Down That Chimney Tonight, He’s Gonna Find the Jolliest Bunch of A-Holes This Side of the Nuthouse

December 24, 2018

Growing up, the holidays truly never disappointed in the Terzis household. Before visions of Norman Rockwell dance in your head, let me clarify: We’re really talking more Griswalds. Someone kept screaming “Save yourself!” It was me, and too bad I never listened. This year we’re heading to Connecticut the day after Christmas. The trip happens […]

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That Beeyotch Manning the Toys for Tots Table

December 16, 2018

The Glover Park Holiday Party was this past Friday night. The party is just as much a neighborhood event as it is a school event. Because I like to be all helpful and shizz, I checked out the list of volunteer spots available to see what help was needed. You gotta know your limits when […]

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Bananas Never Survive a Roadtrip

December 08, 2018

Today is Real Estate Dad’s birthday. I thought about not saying anything until 10 minutes to midnight like he did to me last year, but I decided not to. I mean, I don’t want anyone to think I hold a grudge or anything. Besides, he looked so good when he got ready for a meeting […]

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