The Real Reasons You’re Not Finding the Right House

There are lots of people not buying lots of houses right now. But it’s not because of the layoffs or interest rates. People are trying to buy! I write 3 times as many offers as get accepted. It’s not my client’s fault though. MY clients are smart, and we’re going to talk about the hows and whys of them getting smart, and how you can get there too. Because there are people out there who get in their own way. I’d like to say “You know who you are” but you know those people NEVER know who they are.

You’re Looking for Perfection

Do me a favor. Look at the person sitting next to you. Are they perfect? No, right? What if you’re alone, think of someone in your family. Are they perfect? Also no, I bet. Some people we get along with and like more than others, but no one is perfect, so why do we expect a home to be? Perfect doesn’t exist. And chasing perfection is how you miss some really great homes while waiting for unicorns.

Before you think I’m not talking to you, I actually AM talking to you. When you dismiss a home for a feature that can actually be fixed, there’s a problem and it’s not with the home. It’s with your approach and your expectations. You want to look for homes that check most of the important boxes. You want a home where the value will appreciate. And you want a home you can make your own, with the right bones and the right location. Location is critical. There’s a reason they say, “Location Location Location.” You can change a house. You cannot move its location.

I’ve seen buyers pass up on homes because they didn’t have a tub. You. Guys. YOU CAN ADD A TUB! 

And the more common one I’ve seen, a LOT, is “I’m not seeing what I want, we’ll look in spring when there is more on the market.” Do you hear yourself? It’s all the same stuff, there’s just more of it, and there’s more buyer competition.

How To Fix the Search for Perfection?
Like Cher said in Moonstruck, “SNAP OUT OF IT!.” Cut it out. You need to figure out what you really must have in a house and then what you can fix. I see this happen a lot with buyers, they start out looking for perfect and six months later they are like, “we’ll take that tent by the bus stop.” It doesn’t have to be that dire, but the higher your expectations, the harder you’ll fall.

You Listen to Everyone Else

DC is a very difficult area in which to buy a house. When something is difficult, it’s natural to want to ask friends and family for advice. I love that your family wants to help. But unless they’ve bought a home recently in the DC Metro Area, they’re probably giving you advice that at best, doesn’t apply. At worst, it can derail your entire search.

Your uncle who bought in 1997 and keeps telling you to “never waive inspection”?
Different market. Different rules. Your cousin in Ohio who says, “Just offer $50K under—see what happens”? This isn’t Ohio. And that strategy might cost you the house.

Even your parents, with the best intentions, might be operating from a version of real estate that doesn’t exist anymore. The market today is fast, nuanced, and hyperlocal. What worked for them won’t necessarily work for you.

They don’t have to live in this house – you do. They aren’t writing the check – you are. This is your life, your money and your move.

How Do You Stop Getting Advice from Family and Friends?
This one is easy. Don’t tell them you’re buying a house. If the cat is already out the bag, assure them you are making data-driven decisions and you have a trusted advisor who knows this market. We are going to make a plan that works for you, not your Aunt’s friend who bought a foreclosure in Florida during the crash.

You and Your Partner are Not on the Same Page

This happens more often than you would expect, and it has been happening with more regularity for some reason. Naturally you think, “These two got married, they must share similar beliefs and desires when it comes to big ticket items like a house.” And you would be wrong.

I’ve been helping lovely clients look for a home for a couple months. We would see 6-8 homes every weekend and they went from, “We just started looking, something will come up” to “We’ve seen 40 houses and they all suck.” Then I said, “Do you want my input on why you haven’t found the right house?” They said yes. (Normally I don’t ask if people want my input, I just blurt it out.)

I said, “You two are looking for two different houses.” They looked at me, they looked at each other, and they said, “Wait, what?” I said, “All YOU talk about is a huge updated kitchen, and all YOU talk about is a man-cave and the value vs price and sometimes those things don’t go together.” They ended up writing an offer on a house where one could see potential for renovations and the other could see potential for equity.

How Do You Get On the Same Page as Your Partner?
This seems like a simple one, especially if you currently live with your partner. You have to talk to each other. Okay, I kid. But you have to make a list of your must-haves and your nice-to-haves and you have to look at each person’s must-haves. Do those exist in the same house? You will waste a lot of time if you don’t figure this out before you start looking at homes.

You Don’t Understand Your Purchasing Power – and Limits

When mortgage rates were below 3%, buyers would get pre-approved for six times their income. It was crazy for a buyer who made $100,000 to see they could buy a $600,000 home. Now that rates are higher, people are getting pre-approved for somewhere around three to four times their income level. 

Before you start house hunting, you have to know what this number is. And you also have to understand that just because you got approved for $700,000 and you’re comfortable with that mortgage payment doesn’t mean you look at houses that cost $700,000. This is often the hardest thing for people to understand, but there is not a plethora of homes at your cap price point that you will be able to lock down with a contract. Because here come the other bidders, and that price just went up.

How Do You Fix it So You Understand Your Purchasing Power
This is one of the hardest things for people to understand. Your purchasing power on paper is $700,000 but in reality, you need to dial that back. You should look for homes less than your cap price so that you have room to negotiate in the event the house escalates. And most houses are still escalating in the Metro DC Area.

You Have the Wrong Agent

I can’t even believe I’m going to tell this story but here we are. Someone posted on our neighborhood message board that they were under contract on a condo and there were some serious deficiencies in the condo budget. There were only two units in the condo – it was a converted rowhome that was split into two units. Seems the association was $10,000 in the hole – maybe more. The original developer couldn’t sell the condos, so he had been renting them for 5 years. And of course, he was NOT paying the monthly condo fee but still running it like a condo. This isn’t how it works.

The person said they needed help understanding what they could do. I replied via email and said, “It sounds like you need to walk away. What does your agent say?” Crickets from the agent. The agent saw no problem with their client buying a condo and having to back-pay 5 years of condo dues from a time period where he wasn’t an owner. 

I sat for nearly a decade on the Professional Standards Committee. Some of the things that landed these agents in front of the panel were astonishing.

There are lots of agents who just unlock doors. They don’t advise. They don’t protect. They just wait for the deal to close so they can promptly forget your name and never call you again.

How Do You Hire the Right Agent?
Good agents get referred by clients to their friends. But so do bad agents. Really it’s up to you to do the research. I can tell you how I do things, and you can compare that to people you interview, because most people tell me that I’m the only one who explained anything to them.

You contact me and we set up a time to chat. This is a quick informal call where you tell me about your timeline, and what you’re looking for. Then if you need to get a loan, and most people do, I can refer you to some lenders who I know will do a great job with your loan. Once you talk to them and you are comfortable with the numbers, we will reconvene and go through the whole buying process. We talk budget, timeline, lifestyle—schools, dogs, commutes, non-negotiables. I go through the buying process step by step. It takes about an hour.

You won’t remember most of what we discuss, and that’s okay. You will come away from our consultation knowing that I know it backward and forward, and you can ask me any question about anything at any time and I’ll be able to answer it.

Sales is not a one-size-fits-all. And buying a home? It’s not just about square footage or quartz countertops. It’s about making smart decisions that actually work for your family. We map out a plan so you know exactly how to buy smart. Then when the right house shows up, you’re not scrambling. You’re ready.