The late-season snow today resulted in an unexpected day of quiet at home with the Pirate. Cool Dad ditched me for the internet cafe so he could get some work done. Apparently he doesn’t enjoy talking to clients on the phone while a 2 & 1/2 foot terror climbs up his leg screaming and crying either. As embarrassing as it might be, I think I’ve grown used to it. I’m not even sure I would know anymore how to patch together a deal that’s crashing and burning without the Pirate screaming in my other ear “MOMMY! MOMMY! PEEZE! MOMMY! BLAHYAAA BLAHHHHEEEE YIY AHHH! BUH BYEEEE! I SORRY! I SORRY!”

This morning, we’ve got my cable nemesis on as usual – the Sprout Channel. I actually watched a cartoon today with the Pirate called “Super Why.” These theme songs sit in my head somehow and I’ll hear them in my head in the wee hours of the morning when I can’t sleep so I know that we’ve always got these shows on as background noise, but I’ve never actually sat and watched most of them. Just Chica because at least they teach that Chicken a god damned lesson instead of letting her get away with being a sloth.

Back to Super Why. Little Bo Peep comes on today and she lost her sheep. Of course. She’s given a certain amount of clues to help her find her sheep. She burns through all her clues because she’s a moron, and then cries that she’ll never find her sheep. So the Super Why crew grant her more wishes.  What’s the lesson they’re teaching here? If you don’t try hard enough, someone will give you more chances? What’s next? Un-timed SAT’s? A total lack of respect for deadlines? Homework that if it’s not done the kids are given more time?

Oh. Wait. Nevermind. That’s going on already. I’ve caught wind of something via Cool Dad that’s going on in high schools now. Kids who don’t finish their assignments on time are given MORE TIME. I don’t mean an extra day on one assignment. I’m talking about an entire semester of ignored assignments being done at the end of the semester for full credit. Jesus, if I didn’t finish something on time in high school I was told to pound sand and take my “F” with the rest of the kids who also chose to watch Guns N Roses videos all night on MTV. (MTV played videos back then. I know, it’s a shock to me too that all they show now is Teen Mom and Jersey Shore.) But now, as I work in an industry that lives by deadlines, I’m able to meet them. What’s going to happen to contracts and deadline interpretation in 20 years when these high school kids are in the work force?

The apparent rationale in high school now for why teachers give kids more time is that “some Principals” go after the teacher if any kids get bad grades. And “some Principals” hold it over the teacher’s heads if say, a kid fails a class after college acceptances have already been issued and those failing grades result in a revocation of the college acceptance. So it’s about the schools looking good. Which also means, all these school ratings online are a bunch of bullshit. My world is blown. Is there any integrity to anything anymore?

I’m appalled. I’m disgusted that this is what we’re teaching our kids now. Pull up the Wood Paneled Station Wagon, Cool Dad, because we’re teaching the Pirate and Pirate Junior that it doesn’t matter how many chances Wiley Coyote gets to get the Road Runner, he doesn’t get to win “just because.”