Several weeks ago, I hatched what may or may not have been one of my most brilliant ideas. Depends who you ask. My friend who used to live across the hall in our condo building had a baby girl a few weeks before the Pirate was born. We had visions they would grow up...

Last installment of the family vacation stories.When we were teenagers, Squidward presented me with the pen and notepad, ubiquitous to all motel rooms and like a game show host said, “I want you to write the following phrase.” He then said the word “pus,” as in ooze....

Another installment from the Bad Mommy 1970’s vacation files.As Squidward got older, he began to put his foot down at some of the atrocities to which we were subjected. He made his first of many stands with the restaurants where we would eat. He announced one day that...

The Pirate was a Pirate last year, so in an effort to come up with something new, I thought I’d have her dress up as her household nemesis – the Garden Gnome.It didn’t go well. So, we had to pull last year’s costume out of the closet, despite the fact that it’s way...